Never Leave My Side II
by Shikibu Murasaki
Summary: Hiroshi continues to try to watch over Shuuichi after Yuki's death. Things aren't going well when it might be too late for Hiro to stop him from what he's about to do.


Part Two: Wish For A Dream  
  
''The memories we most remember are the memories we have when we're in pain.'' -Marquis De Sade-  
  
''No.'' Hiroshi sighed as he leaned back. He held the phone in his hands. He glanced up the clock, it was just a few minutes before nine o' clock in the evening and he decided it was best that he stay by Shuuichi's side. His best friend wasn't exactly the most stable person in the world right now. He was afraid that he'd try something again like earlier afternoon.  
  
''Has he been eating?'' a female voice asked over the phone.  
  
''No he hasn't been, Mika-san.''  
  
''Mou. Then it is worse than I thought.'' She sighed. ''But then again, why wouldn't it be? Shuuichi-kun just can't -'' she stopped and sighed.  
  
''.Live without him.'' Hiroshi continued for her. He looked down for a moment, saying those words had still pained him and he didn't know why. He shook his head. This wasn't the time to be thinking about it, he knew. But somehow he couldn't stop himself from feeling that way. He sighed, never did he have the chance to make it known to Shuuichi again that he still had feelings for him. And there would be no chance especially now. This healing and recovering process could take forever.  
  
''Hiroshi-kun?'' Mika asked.  
  
''Ah. Gomen nasai.'' He paused. ''Please tell Touma-san that I won't be showing up for work tomorrow, if you don't mind so much, Mika-san.''  
  
''Iya. I don't mind at all. Watch over Shuuichi-kun. We can't afford something happening to him.''  
  
''It's more than the record now, isn't it?''  
  
''Sou ne. '' she laughed softly and yet sadly. ''I guess now it is just more than the record label. It's beyond that.''  
  
''If the people for N-G ask. Shuuichi still isn't feeling well.''  
  
''I think they're well aware of that, Hiroshi-kun.''  
  
''Thank you for the favors.'' Hiroshi said as he smiled slightly.  
  
''Daijoubu yo. Genki yo ne.''  
  
Hiroshi hung up and glanced at the clock. It was nine o' clock and he was still trying to get used to the fact that Shuuichi Shindou's house was quiet. Ever since the accident, he went home to his old house - where he lived when he moved out of his family's house and before he stayed with Yuki. He guessed that he couldn't stand everything reminding him of the cold novelist that he had come to love.  
  
He didn't quite understand how Shuuichu could still love Yuki after what he did to him the whole time. He hit him, called him names, ignored him. But that didn't matter. At any rate, he was sure that Yuki loved him back in his own strange way. He was a lucky man, as far as he was concerned. He was able to have something he could never have.  
  
He went upstairs and opened the door to Shuuichi's room. He saw his best friend looking up, looking out the window. He looked tired and lonely. Hiroshi sighed and approached Shuuichi, sitting on a chair across him.  
  
''There aren't any stars tonight, Hiro.'' He said softly.  
  
''Aa. Maybe it's going to rain.''  
  
''I'm not sure if I should be happy about that.'' Shuuichi paused. ''I thought seeing the stars twinkling out tonight might make me feel better.''  
There was a long pause between them, before Shuuichi continued to talk.  
  
''What did they say?''  
  
''K-san and Sakano-san told me earlier for you to take all the time out you need. I'll stay over here and watch you.''  
  
Shuuichi kept his gaze at the sky.  
  
''It's funny. That people try their best to forget their bad experiences, their painful stories. And they replace it all they can with happy memories. Just so they can say they've been happy. that they always will be happy. Life would be better if they forget the miseries that they went through.''  
  
Hiroshi looked at his best friend and paused.  
  
''But what people don't understand is - the more you're in pain. The more you'll remember it. The most things we remember are the things that happen to us when we're in pain.''  
  
He laughed bitterly and sadly as he glanced at Hiroshi.  
  
''Have you ever believed in soulmates? That two people can still hear each other, even after one's death? That they can always find each other no matter what happens? Do you ever wonder if a single person can hear you out there, when you're sad, when you're lonely, when you need someone?'' he shook his head and looked up again. ''It's amazing how people create things out of the blue just to cheer other people up and occupy them, trying to find these things.''  
  
Hiroshi walked to Shuuichi and sat by his side as he looked out.  
  
''But the truth is they're never there.''  
  
''You mean you don't think Yuki can hear you?''  
  
''I've tried reaching out. Stretching my hand so far, hoping that a little of him might grasp back. Since we're soulmates, I thought. He'd find me, and he'd watch over me. He'd never leave my side again.'' He paused as tears fell from his eyes. ''But everytime I try to reach out, there's nothing. And it makes me feel emptier all over again. That I've hoped against hope.'' He paused as his voice started to shake. ''It's funny. they say that it's bad, when a person's stopped hoping. It means they've come to an end - or what should be the end of -''  
  
''Shuuichi. Don't say things like that.'' Hiroshi sounded stern, but Shuuichi ignored his tone.  
  
''But I've been hoping that this would be the end of me.'' he said as more tears fell from his eyes. ''But the most painful part is. it isn't..''  
  
He started to cry, hiding his face in his hands and leaning back. Hiroshi sighed and slowly leaned over, taking him in his arms. Shuuichi grasped on to him and burried his face on his chest.  
  
''I want it to end. I want to see Yuki. I want to see him.''  
  
Shuuichi suddenly pushed Hiroshi away and started to make a run. His best friend got up and immediately followed as he ran downstairs. As Hiroshi made a step off the stairs, the bathroom door had shut. He heard the locks from the inside and his dark blue eyes widened in fright.  
  
''Shuuichi!''  
  
~TSUZUKU~ 


End file.
